If you’re not already in a second lockdown, it’s almost inevitable that one is coming your way (predominantly addressing my British readers, here). And what does that mean for you? Your mental health might struggle – I know mine definitely did – and you might become stressed, anxious and apprehensive. And, as a result, might stop feeling sexual quite as often or all together. Now obviously there are more important issues to consider and think about, but unfortunately I’m not a doctor or a politician or a financial advisor and I cannot answer any pending questions you might have about most things relating to this pandemic and its penchant for lockdowns. But sex? Sex I can talk about.
The ‘lockdown libido’ is a thing. It’s a bit like your bog-standard, run of the mill libido loss but with an added extra of not being able to leave the house. Which, let me tell you, can be a real boner killer. As per para one, our mental health seems to considerably waiver during the life and times of 2020, the global pandemic and, of course, any kind of quarantine or lockdown. Because we are simply not used to it. We are free beings, used to being able to move around as we wish, see who we want and, within reason, do as we please. This forced ruling is a struggle for most because not many of us have experience staying in one place with the same people for prolonged periods of time. In any normal situation, following a little bit of tension or the inclination of rising stress levels, it is at our leisure to nip out for a walk to clear our head or head to the gym to promote endorphins or meet your pal at the pub for a pint and a moan. We can barely even nip out to the shop without wearing a mask, sanitising frequently and staying far, far away from our fellow shoppers. God forbid you head down the cereal aisle as someone else. All the chopping and changing and running away from too-full checkouts is getting my steps up, though. And I’m absolutely a mask-condoner. (Seriously, it’s not that hard – just wear one).
Obviously this is going to mess with your mind. This is going to make you come home from Asda and recoil on the sofa, wondering how this wannabe dystopian society slowly slipped into our reality. And, like everyone else, you’re going to crave normality and wonder when the f it’s going to return. Especially now Boris and his Gov team gave you a couple of months taste of what it was like to go out, hug your friends, go to the gym and finally (finally!) be able to drink cocktails without the added pressure of your other half telling you that it’s midday on a Tuesday and that you probably didn’t need a margarita to accompany your cornflakes. So we’re all struggling mentally. Some more than others granted. And if only this was more of a priority to those in charge, perhaps we wouldn’t be having such conversations. But here we are, confused, bewildered, and sexually unsatisfied.
Your mental state has a huge impact on how frisky you feel from day-to-day. In the simplest of terms, because your brain is currently wired to process the on-goings of the world and Covid-19, and therefore has less space to think about boning, and also the subsequent cycle and lack of oxytocin means you’re only going to feel less intimate in the long run. It’s also worth mentioning that a lot of anti-depressants and similar drugs can lessen libido, but please do not make any changes or alterations to your dose without consulting your Doctor first.
The saying ‘absence makes the heart grow fonder’ could here be changed to ‘absence makes your horn get stronger’. Personally, I am always more up for it when I’ve had or my partner has had a few days away. Even being at work for long hours does the trick sometimes. Because it’s giving you that element of missing someone. And, chances are, that when you’re on your own and you think of someone that you’re involved with physically, you’re going to think about sex. But when they are constantly under your nose and have been for almost eight months, your thought train is probably more about why their dirty socks can never make it into the laundry basket and less how dirty you want to get with them.
So there are remedies. Depending on where you live, your current health and what the legal rules are for you, I highly recommend getting out of the house. If not you, them. Suggest a long walk, do the big shop on your own (as mentioned, this tends to take twice as long at the moment anyway), get out for a drive and go somewhere to watch the sunset. Alone. Take and schedule time for yourself once a day and enjoy thinking about nature and the wider world and what you’re going to wear on your debut night out after lockdown 2.0.
If you’re not romantically involved or living with anyone, you can still follow these steps. The break in your day and fresh air will drag your mind away from home and you might just feel more like getting down with yourself on your return.
And the age old thing of ‘spicing things up’ also stands. It isn’t going to hurt to try on some new lingerie or suggest trying something you haven’t before. When you’re out on your glorious alone time adventure, send a saucy sext detailing just what you’re going to do when you get home (after washing your hands, obvs). Consider involving Coronavirus into your role play? Is it appropriate to play sexy nurse and person with symptoms waiting for their test results? Hey, I don’t kink shame. Whatever works for ya.
And above all, don’t beat yourself up. Nothing lasts forever and your sexual appetite will return. We’re all in this together. Oh and this bloody pandemic will fuck off. Even it it feels like it’s going nowhere soon. Stay safe and sexy, babes.