Let us normalise the use of lubricant during intercourse. Please, God, let us. Let us stop women feeling like they’re doing something wrong because they aren’t as ‘wet’ as the women in pornos. You don’t necessarily moisten up on arousal, that is just a bullshit myth. And expecting a woman to be wet without putting in any time, effort or product is downright rude. How ‘wet’ we get is determined by a variety of components, including biology, hormones, mental state, age and medications. It is both normal and super important to both use lube when having sex, and finding the right lube for your body should be a priority. Whist everyone is different, I have had so many messages and questions about recommendations, so I set about reviewing those that sparked some interest. Something that you should know here, and that I didn’t know until the early days of dating my current beau, is that I am often highly allergic to lubricant. It’s #NotAllLubes, and I’m not sure what it is exactly, but I’ve been known to come out in a really hot, red rash. On my nether regions. Not fun or sexy, as I’m sure you can imagine. Being extremely wary of this, I found myself shying away from using lube in the majority of my sexual escapades. This trial has not only allowed me to unearth new brands and variations of lube, but also re-discover my love for slippery self pleasure and well-oiled intercourse. YAS, lube.
Here are the contenders.
I have been using Smile Makers for a few years now, after originally being gifted some of their bits when I first launched my Instagram ‘brand’. This one in particular has always been a firm favourite, owing primarily to its viscosity. It’s thicker than your average (me and you both, hun). It’s easy to use, and doesn’t run or get everywhere, and surprisingly, isn’t at all sticky. It’s comforting and cushiony and one of my go-to’s for all things butt.
This was the first lube I ever tried and tested for Smile Makers. Alongside its partners, the aforementioned Generous Gel and the sadly used-up Little Light Liquid, Silky Serum is the pinnacle of this trio. This was the first lubricant not to bring me out in a rash, so whilst I am a little biased, I can’t help but big up this product. It’s the perfect texture, never leaves you feeling gross or oily and can be used for anything; masturbation, anal/oral/vaginal sex, sensual massage. Fuck yeah for versatility! Plus, all of the Smile Makers lubricants retail at £12.95 and last forever, so won’t break the bank.
Having seen this product all over Instagram prior to receiving, I was under the impression that, much like other Instagram advertised products: detox teas and fake tan, the lube would likely look the part, but not end up being all that impressive. I was wrong, guys, which isn’t something I normally admit to. This product blew me away. I loved it, my boyfriend loved it, and everyone that I have since distributed samples to have loved it as well. It doesn’t at all feel like you’re using lube. It feels exactly like every part of your body is magically and naturally moist AF and absolutely everything is heightened to the max. Plus, the bottle makes me feel like I’m dousing my lady garden in something you’d buy at a boutique apothecary and the pump means you get the perfect measurement every time. I’m yet to try it for myself, but I’ve also heard this product doubles up as a cuticle oil, hair de-frizzer and can be used by athletes (doing athletic things as well as shagging, obvs). This product is marketed between £18.00 – £30.00 depending on size and retailers, so is definitely more of an upmarket product. You know, because when don’t your genitals deserve to feel like royalty?!
Water-based lubricant of any brand tends will always dry up. It tends to be better for most bodies, given that it is more natural, but inevitably means you end up using more than you usually would (to maintain a certain level of wetness) and to avoid tackiness. And, also, means it isn’t compatible with use in the bath or shower. Or hot tub. Or lake. Or puddle. I don’t know what you’re into, but if your bits and bobs are about to be submerged in any kind of liquid, reach for something silicone based rather than water based. I will say, however, that the naturalness of this product did wonders for my body. I didn’t have any problems with any of the silicone products I tested, but knowing that the lube I was using was water-based definitely had a positive psychological impact, and I was automatically transformed into a mermaid-esque free spirit, only allowing my aura to be penetrated by the most natural products.
Muuuuch better for staying slippery for longer. But slippery in the kind of sense where sex is fucking great and there’s no awkward moments because everything is smooth and literally glides together. Oh, and it makes your skin glisten and glow like you’ve been smeared in Unicorn sperm. Glorious. Again, Lovehoney are my go-to brand for literally fucking everything, so I had really high hopes. I’ve used some of their products before and always found them to be great, and excellent value for money at £7.99 – £8.99. Plus, they do a range of truly irresistible flavours. Admittedly, this was a turn off for me originally, as false flavourings can trigger a reaction or flare up, but they were actually fine, thank the damn lord! Obviously, the gin and tonic flavour is my favourite.
The first EVER lube designed specifically for anal use. Yep, you heard right. Bum fun isn’t for everyone (the title of my debut album), but if it’s your thing, this is the lube for you. This product was developed specifically to protect sensitive anal tissue and align with your vagina’s natural PH. Can I get a hell yeah for sexy science?! This lube also breaks the mould in that it’s actually a water based lubricant, but feels as smooth and long-lasting as it’s silicone based counterparts. It’s important to note here, that this is an American brand and so ships from America. You can buy it for $15.95 (around £12.70) but may well have to pay for added shipping on top of that. Weigh it up though, y’all. It’s a small price to pay for pain and worry-free anal play.
My favourite? Whilst it was a difficult decision to make and I am positive I will continue my use of all of the above lubes in future escapades, my personal favourites are Lovehoney silicone based lubricant (turns out it sometimes is worth sticking to what you know) and UberLube. For me, I was initially drawn to Uberlube because of how clean, sexy and sophisticated it looked and their delightfully simple ingredients list, meaning there are no nasty chemicals or preservatives going in or around my precious Gashley. Again, let me reiterate the importance of well-lubricated sex. Try it, you can thank me later. Life is better when you’re wetter.