Tuesday 28th May 2019

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Do you wanna know something cruel? I always get my period on payday. Like, WTF, God?!?! My elation surrounding the only day of the month when I have money to my name is crushed by my vaginal hemorrhaging and synonymous excruciating pain that is inevitable on the first day of my menstrual cycle. On the whole, though, I don’t mind my period. Obviously despite its suspicious monthly timing. I don’t let it ruin my life or my plans and I find it empowering to talk to people about it. My menstruation goes one of two ways. I’m either getting on with my damn life, writing my blog, taking pictures for The Gram, drinking Frosé and dancing away my cramps, or I’m horizontal for hours at a time, crying hysterically at that Grey’s Anatomy episode I’ve watched 37 times and eating re-heated KFC. Get you a girl that can do both. But it’s normal. Periods are a part of human life and it’s high time we stopped seeing them as such a taboo subject. Anything you can do, I can do bleeding.


I looooooove my period cup almost as much as I love myself. And that’s a whole lot. I exclusively use Intimina products, and my current faves are the Ziggy cup and the Lily cup. I started off using the Lily cup One but it was too soft for my crazy strong pelvic floor muscles and I had to upgrade to something a little more sturdy. The Ziggy is my ‘special occasion’ cup, because it basically means that I can wear it whilst having penetrative sex, should I be able to coerce my fella into engaging with me. There are countless reasons to switch to cups, including them being seriously more cost effective, miles better for the environment and loads better for your body. Plus, if you’re really lazy like me, you can leave it in for up to twelve hours, which means no more disturbing your lie-in for a quick tampon change. This isn’t even a sales pitch, it’s just a no brainer.


My top tips for dealing with your period and all of her harsh consequences, are: ibuprofen washed down with double chocolate digestives, Mario Badescu cleanser and toner twice a day for any hormonal skin issues and evening primrose oil, which I tend to take three or so days before I am due on, and really, really helps me cope with any pain or other heinous hormone-induced side effects. Seriously, I got a load in the sale at Holland and Barrett and they have done me so well. Thank you for your service, tiny miracle pills. Also highly recommended: people who will sympathise with/for you. Because sometimes, when you feel like your fucking uterus is battling to leave your body, you need a cuddle or a Whatsapp or a basket of chocolate muffins from a friend, colleague, family member or lover. And if you’re this person to any woman with a bleeding womb, no one will ever hate you for getting them a present, especially if that present is covered in chocolate or comes with a complimentary bottle of Prosecco.

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