We are FOUR today! Happy Birthday, Woman on Top! In Blog world, that’s like 137. And, make no mistake, it’s been 137 years of constant learning.
Nee The Man Ban, my blog started as a daily diary entry, noting the trials and tribulations of a single, 20 year old girl, discovering dating in and out of London for the first time. The blog initially told tales of first dates and awkward encounters, as well as essentially detailing my anti-male quest. I actually started writing after a particularly painful split from a guy who I was convinced was the one. *Inside secret* – I never even met him, and we’d only been texting three months. But, he was muscly, bearded and a Premiership rugby player and so I let him break my cyber heart.
Part of me can’t believe that it has been three years and, thinking about it, the time has really flown by. It feels bizarre to reminisce that four years ago I was spending my summer in Ibiza (scantily clad and draped over either a handsome man or a gin and tonic); my first big girl holiday from my first big girl job. It’s like a lifetime has passed since then. I started the blog not a month later, and I still think of it as something I cooked up last week over an mid-afternoon cup of tea. Another part of me struggles to believe that it has ONLY been four years. The lessons learned and hurdles overcome make it so difficult to believe that I have only been growing, teaching and learning for 48 months. Alas, in journalism, four years is like a week-long work experience placement. And long may the experience continue.
As clichéd as it will definitely sound, my blog has changed my life. It shifted my outlook and the way I thought and dealt with just about everything. At first, The Man Ban was purely a portal to express myself and my frustrations through dating. Looking back now, I hadn’t quite gotten a handle on my brutal honesty (one of my most infamous traits), and ended up slut-shaming, criticizing others and having little to no self-belief. Eek. But, who are we if we didn’t start from somewhere
Sex and sexuality have always been my chosen genre. I’ve been writing about shagging for 1460 days now, with my voice steadily changing throughout. Whilst at first it was all one night stands and comparison of pubic inches, I now aim to write all content from the point of view of a modern day, sex positive, feminist woman. I can’t actually remember how or when I discovered feminism. It may well have been through Inspirational Instagram pages, from watching GIRLS every consecutive evening for 18 months, through meeting like minded writers or learning the real-life stories of my readers, but boy am I glad that I did. This isn’t (yet another) article telling you why you should ALL be feminists (we should). But it is a little something to tell you that it made me a better and happier person. Feminism helped me discover my passion and taught me to be brave, unafraid and fiercely independent.
‘Woman on Top’ and the site we all know now, was the consequence of weeks of brainstorming. The Man Ban was no longer accurate, given that I was in a committed relationship to both my boyfriend and dick and so many a lunch break, morning commute and midnight snack session were spent pouring over a notebook trying to come up with a name as catch as the original. In the end, there was one obvious winner because, well, I AM the Woman on Top. Despite my frequent lack of lusting over the position (cowgirl ain’t my fave), I am a woman, and I am on top. Of the world, of men, of my sexuality – you name it, I’m straddling it.
I feel slightly overwhelmed that we have reached this milestone together. This blog really is my baby. And, considering I can’t keep a plant alive for longer than a month, it’s a miracle we’ve made it this far. Only my most loyal readers will remember the brief period over Christmas 2015/16 when I decided to give up on the blog. The reason behind the sudden halt (albeit sickening to admit) was because a goddamn BOY told me he didn’t like it. Yeah, now you understand how much I’ve changed? There is no man in this world who could tell me what I can or can’t do nowadays. (No joke – ask my boyfriend or father what it’s like to tell me to bring a coat because it’s cold outside. Y’all better believe I’m going to freeze my stubborn ass off before doing as they say.)
There’s no feeling quite like receiving praise regarding something you work your ass off for. Huge thanks, as always, to my friends, family and followers. To my daily readers, die-hard supporters and of course, to my now four-year-old blog. Thanks for being the best conversation starter, diary, motivator, dream-encourager, friend-maker, listener, hobby and career.