Keeping it Casual

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Are you bored of casual dating? Casual fucking? Are you avoiding anything that starts with ‘cas’ and doesn’t end in ‘hmere’?


As a previous serial casual shagger, allow me to give you some insight. Cosmo exposed that casual sex is proven to lead to a healthier, happier you, with 67 percent of women feeling noticeably more cheerful on the days they get some. I mean, it’s no secret that sex releases endorphins, and who wouldn’t feel elated had they woken up with some divine other nuzzled between their thighs? 


One night stands (as I continue to harp on about continuously) have a notoriously bad rep, and it’s almost as if society wants to shame us into feeling guilty or sad the morning after. SAD?! After boning? As long as you had healthy, consensual sex, there’s really no reason to cry over spilt semen. There should be no shame in sex, and that applies to casual coitus also. 


Leaving his apartment the morning after what surely was the BEST blowjob of his life 


Unfortunately, casual sex/dating repeatedly with the same lucky individual is where it could get messy- both inside and outside the bedroom. Generally speaking, someone will develop feelings (and it’s almost never both of you, so don’t bank on that shit. I have lost count of the amount of times I’ve convinced my poor self that if I keep sucking and letting him finish in my eye, that he MUST fall in love with me? Never works. You just end up sore, single and partially blind.) Someone will forget that the usual rules don’t apply and start whatsapping their life away. Emojis and all. If you are engaging in a casual fling through genital contact, then please remember to check your emotions at the door.


When he told her he was still on Tinder, she knew she had to make it seem like an accident…


On the flipside, as a singleton I often found myself growing tired of all things casual? I lived in London for nearly a year and dated a whole host of gentlemen. Hundreds of first dates and only a handful of second dates later and that was just it. I was SO bored. Living a grown up life with a big girl job, a rental and my very own Oyster card meant that casual extra-curricular activity seemed somewhat out of place. I had grown up fucking around (in almost every context of the phrase), so now I was getting my shit together, surely my love life should be falling into place to? Perhaps I never made it past date 2 because with all of the other first dates that I was entertaining, I wasn’t applying enough attention to just one individual? Or maybe I just had one too many large vinos and exposed too much about myself. Damn. At the end of the day, relationships won’t necessarily come when you’re ready for or want them. I waited two years and an abundance more sexy time until I found someone worth giving up a world full of penis for. It should go without saying that involving yourself in anything labelled ‘casual’, will rarely get you down the aisle in the satin Vera Wang you’ve been lusting over. 


 You let him put it in your butt, and he STILL won’t marry you?! 

I stand in favour for ‘keeping it casual’. It doesn’t work for everyone, granted, but causal relationships can be pretty ideal. Anyone with a jam-packed diary will know that finding time for dating, let alone sex, is seldom an easy task. Often, it is situations like this that appeal most to said beneficiaries. Women have just as many sexual needs as men and, sometimes, our battery operated buddies just won’t cut it. Y’all go out and get yours, so why can’t we do what we need to get ours? 


Women are relatively simple creatures (I’m lying). And men? Oh for crying out loud, men are even more so. Causal associations are a fun way to pass the time, providing you’re both on the same time. So, if it’s an agreement that your reproductive organs are in a relationship but you are most definitely are NOT, then hey- crack on. But that is no where near as easy as it sounds. As soon as someone starts to invest a little more emotion, then that’s when you need to pull out, wipe yourself off and call it a day. Casual relationships require both a completely equal agreement and a mutual outlook on the situation, from the beginning. Providing you cause no harm to yourself or anyone else, do as you please. Honesty, as always, is the best policy. 


Literally me, regardless of whether I’m single or not.


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