REVIEW : Smile Makers

  • by


I’m not opposed to sex toys of any kind; in fact, I’m always looking for something new to contribute to my ever growing collection…


Smile Makers (does exactly what it says on the tin), are a relatively new sex toy brand with an original approach to pleasure. They have developed a multitude of vibrators and lubricating products specifically aimed at women. Best of all, Smile Makers is on a mission to normalize sexual wellbeing products and ensure they become a part of everyday life and beauty care. It is vital that both men and women stop viewing sex, masturbation and ‘toys’ as anything other than normal human behaviour. If I want to use my annual leave to stay in bed and shag myself senseless, then I should be allowed to do so without being frowned upon.


I was asked to test out a few of the products (best day EVER). Alas, you can imagine my sheer joy when I opened the mail on Wednesday morning to be greeted by my very own smile maker, ‘The Fireman’. Obviously, I dropped everything, pushed deadlines and retreated straight back to bed to endure an afternoon of ‘research’.


Whilst my expectations (as they always are, with intimate playthings) were high – this exceeded them all. The first thing I noticed was the material. He was delightfully smooth, (the vagina is a sensitive place, guys) and softer than most cheap plastic pals. The handy ‘flame’ shaped head allows for a perfect and direct correlation with your lady garden and, inevitably, a comfortable and oh-so-intense orgasm. The malleable tip makes for easy as possible access and multiple stroke techniques.


The different sides, faces and angles of this clever little hero makes pleasure so much more powerful – switch him round and twist him while in motion for a fire even our favourite little guy would struggle to extinguish. Four different speed settings make this an ideal vibrator for a user of any ability/experience.


As with all of my suitors, I like to have my men in the palm of my hand. The Fireman is not only handheld and portable, but also a really pretty colour – kind of made me want to go out and buy a bag and shoes to match. In short, he was the perfect man.


I used The Fireman alongside the ‘Stay Silky’ serum. My boyfriend and I are on a constant hunt for the perfect lube – and this one was definitely a contender. It was nothing short of magic to finish our mattress mambo and find that neither one of us was left feeling sticky or oily. The lubricant was really easy to use, incredibly soft to touch (almost like you actually weren’t smothering your genitalia in a foreign liquid) and comes in gorgeously professional packaging – one you’d probably be able to leave on the side when the in-laws were over.


Whilst relaxing in my post-climax bliss, I treated myself to an online shopping spree; essentially sizing up the other Smile Makers products and compiling a list of what to buy next. This variety of vibrators are distinguished by ‘type’, and based on stereotypical fantasies a woman might have. The characters are adorable; I’m bloody jealous that I didn’t think of it myself and the packaging is ALMOST so cute that you don’t want to rip it open to uncover the goodies inside. I did, of course.


The current collection is as follows-


The Fireman


“The house may be burning but this helmeted stud isn’t afraid of an intense situation. He’s strong. He’s brave. And, oh my, he’s going to heat you up and leave you smouldering. Lie back and enjoy that lovely towering inferno.”


Yeah, that’s right. He sure knows what to do with his hose. This stud is the ideal option for anyone who’s all about the clit.


 The Millionaire


“His yacht. His private jet. His island. His thick, long diamond-encrusted fingers. And you. This guy is a collector of the finer things in life, and it turns out you’re his favorite plaything of all. He’s a powerful player with a great, big trust fund, and he knows exactly how to use it.”


I’m no gold-digger, he’s SO much more than his bank account… The best of both; this toy allows for both internal and clitoral stimulation; hello Sugar Daddy! This big guy is crafted specifically to mimic intercourse.


The Tennis Coach 


“He’s tanned, he looks mighty fine in a pair of little white shorts, and he sure knows what he’s doing with that forehand stroke. According to him, perfect play is about skillful aim, so after your sweat session at the net, there’s nothing quite like taking him back to yours for a little off-court, indoor action.”


‘New year, new me’ – this guy makes it reaallly easy to get on board with physical activity. Get your lessons booked in now if you’re looking for a little G-spot stimulation.

The Surfer 


“He paddles hard and rides smooth. Hang ten with this pro for an experience that will leave you feeling stoked…”


You can bet this dude will provide you with those desired WAVES of pleasure. If in favour of a more subtle toy; this is your guy.

The Frenchman 


“Who knows what he’s saying, but does it matter? This sexy linguist has got you locked in his gaze and soon you’ll be delightfully fluent in his native tongue. So make yourself comfortable, mademoiselle, because when it comes to passion this master’s going to give you an education.”


Ooh La La, this soft touch will have you melting like a ripe brie on a warm day – designed with oral sex lovers in mind.



If any of these chaps don’t tickle your fancy (literally), then I don’t know what will.


I have only one critique of these products – their range appears to be a little limited and heterosexual based. I’d like to see, and probably try, some female-inspired characters. Because who wouldn’t want to get off to a woman in charge?!


Smiles all round…




If purchasing, make sure you use this link!



Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *