How Long is the Ideal Sexual Encounter?

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Longer than a two pump Tony, and shorter than a 45 minute romp – just how long is the ideal ‘sesh’?


To clarify, by sesh I am referring to a roll in the hay or mattress mambo with another being rather than downing 17 jagerbombs and passing out face down in chips and cheese. Ladies – we’ve all been there, right? You’ve picked up the most handsome stranger in the bar and after a considerable amount of alcohol and lack of cash for your own taxi, you’ve headed home together. Everything is looking up until it’s all over mere seconds after he’s ventured inside you. On the other hand, take it from me; there IS such a thing as ‘too much sex’. Any penetration experienced that lasts longer than thirty minutes should be met with an ice pack and a urine sample.


To clarify – sex, in this instance, is the full affair. Kissing, foreplay, dry humping and actual penetration. But all of those excitable extras vary entirely on personal preference. For example, I’m partial to my partner kissing my neck and making the effort to turn me on, whereas he prefers a potential blowy before diving in almost immediately. The national average for sole fucking – from entry to ejaculation – is just over five minutes. Surprised? Me too.


Other contributory factors may include stress, sleep pattern and general health but, it is undoubtable that the length of time we’re actually shagging for is all down to the penis. To be honest, it’s about time they took responsibility for something.


So let’s talk about what might factor in with how long our mate is able to perform. Upon asking my male friends, one answer stood out – condoms. Many gents believe that by removing sensitivity and feeling, they are less likely to maintain a hard on. Saying that, a 2015 study found heterosexual men aged 18 to 24, who cited condoms as a barrier to an erection, were actually more likely to be suffering from general erectile dysfunction – regardless of contraceptive usage. 


Dr Brendan Zietsch, psychologist from the University of Queensland, suggests that duration of intercourse could even be affected by penis shape. A 2003 study uncovered that the rim around the head of the penis (prepare yourselves for a relatively disgusting theory) is able to ‘scoop’ out any pre-existing liquid from inside the vagina. So, essentially, the repetitive thrusting men perform during sex could act as a removal system for any other semen. Basically ensuring their swimmers have the best chance at reaching the egg first for fertilization.


“Incidentally, this could explain why it becomes painful for a man to continue thrusting after ejaculating, since that would risk scooping out his own semen as well,” states Zietsch.


Age is also an excuse men fall back on – and they ain’t lyin’! Unsurprisingly, with the increase of a man’s age comes the decrease in his ability to maintain an erection for a period of time. So, in summary, the older the dude, the shorter the bone. Consider that before you board the next bus to the Playboy Mansion.


So is the average five minutes what women really want? Reportedly, it is most desirable to be in the throngs of passion for between seven and 13 minutes. But pleasure has no number; as the conclusion often is in such articles, personal preference overrules here. Oh, yeah, and it’s really difficult to (without using a stopwatch – kind of a mood killer) estimate how long your romp lasted. Surely being swept into a frenzied passion would make any human being lose count? And while the best love-making is nearly always spontaneous, it may prove difficult to have your oven timer at the ready.


Having experienced a real life and frighteningly painful vaginal friction burn from repetitive thrusting for nearly three-quarters of an hour, think twice about brushing off my claim that there is a limit to how much nooky your body can take. Next time your other half climaxes before you were willing him to finish, instead of mentally cursing him and his sexual ability, remain thankful for the experience you shared and look forward to the next one. Because aside from all else, there’s no boner-killer quite like a nagging sexually-frustrated girlfriend (and that’s from experience).


Making your partner last longer may seem like another chore to add to your list for that day – but it really is relatively simple. Try switching positions when he feels a rumble or might be getting close to finishing – switching from say you on top to him on top will change up his pace, rhythm and speed and definitely issue you a bit of extra time; even if it’s just a few minutes. Alternatively, and this isn’t one I often opt for, lengthen your foreplay and up the intensity in order to make him blow his load pre-penetration. Obviously, this option works best with a partner who has no difficulty maintaining ‘wood’ after finishing.


All in all, it is up to you and whomever you’re giving your flower too. More often than not, it will vary between sessions. If you connect with someone intimately, it shouldn’t matter how long he can go for. So here’s hoping that my partner (and yours) learns when it’s the right time to embark upon an hour-long steamy sesh, and when I want it quick, fast and over before the end of I’m a Celebrity’s commercial break.




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