10 Sex and the City Life Lessons For Any Millennial Woman

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1. Undoubtedly and most importantly – your girlfriends are your soulmates.


They are in it for the long run and while men may come and go, it is your relationship with the gals that is the most important and will stand the test of time. Loyalty and honesty amongst friends goes a long, long way. Is there really any ‘Squad Goals’ more jealous-making than the bond between our four favourite honeys? And with such different personalities and interests, they always manage to maintain a reputable bond. While only you can control your gut feeling, your friends should always be there to assist – and to point out anything missed as a result of the rose-tinted Ray Bans you may be sporting. Samantha offered to babysit Brady, despite her feelings towards children. Charlotte lent Carrie money to buy an apartment. Every woman needs a good girlfriend.



2. Being the villain doesn’t make you a bad person.


When Carrie cheated on Aiden, did we love her any less? She made a mistake, but doesn’t everyone? Everyone has baggage. Carrie fell in love despite knowing she was the mistress in Big and Natasha’s affair. Mr Big divorced Natasha following his two-time and eventually admitted that Carrie was The One.




Serious shit. Cancer, abortion, fertility issues, divorce – it’s all real life. And getting past those hurdles is a serious part of becoming who you are.



4. Empowered women empower women.


The famous four were individually successful, and supportive of each other doing exactly as they wanted. Namely, putting themselves first. ‘I love you, but I love me more’. In four totally different career paths, the New York princesses were proud of what they did; and refused to compromise that for anyone. Slut shaming was a rare subtopic in Sex and the City – the women’s need for physical love and, inevitably, prioritized orgasms became more apparent and, as a result, normalized.



5. Confidence is a virtue.


Samantha waits HOURS in a restaurant for Jerrod to finish his shift. Remembering correctly, she also paid off the other women doing the same. She knew what she wanted and wasn’t afraid to go after it. Undoubtedly, Samantha is the most confident of our SATC girls, but all four teach us the importance of loving yourself. Carrie is never afraid to be seen in her individual sense of style and Charlotte gives up her lust for looks when she meets Harry; the perfect un-perfect guy. A refreshing change from the vaguely superficial storylines the show previously ran on. The series also ensured us that what other people think isn’t all that important. In Samantha’s famous words “I will not be judged by you or society. I will wear whatever, and blow whomever I want, as long as I can breathe and kneel.”



6. Dating isn’t always fun.


No, scratch that, as Charlotte said – it’s exhausting. Men can be total douchebags – Richard cheated on Samantha, Steve broke Miranda’s heart and Mr Big left Carrie at the altar. And sometimes, they’re just not that into you. Not to mention they can literally drive you crazy – remember Ms Bradshaw ‘blowing off steam’ at Berger’s friends?! Charlotte just about put up with in-law-from hell Bunny – before she packed in chasing the MacDougal dream. Carrie tried and tried to coax Big into telling her she was loved. Turns out if you move to Paris six years later it might just happen. In the end? Everyone was happy.



7. The ‘Perfect’ relationship doesn’t exist.


They take time, work and more often than not, a fair share of tears. Good things aren’t supposed to fall into your lap, something worth having should be worth working for. Charlotte and Harry’s less than ideal wedding was the first step in their happily ever after. Carrie and Big dated on and off for a decade before deciding to get hitched.



8. Sex is important.


Whether in a relationship, as demonstrated by Steve’s infidelity against Miranda due to frustration at their lack of sex life. Before marriage, as demonstrated by Charlotte’s horrified reaction to discovering Trey’s impotence and of course, when single. One-night stands should not be frowned upon, as long as you are not hurting yourself or anyone else. Samantha introduced viewers to being ‘try-sexual’, claiming she’d try anything once. (I feel you, Sam). The television show also gave excellent visibility to women and masturbation, which would have been considered significantly more taboo when the show aired in 1998. There are a handful of episodes dedicated specifically to the purchase and use of sex toys. Hooray!



9. Success is sexy.


It’s sad that Miranda was often seen as the ‘uncool’ and least-stylish of the girlfriends while Samantha was popular, funny and always dressed to kill. Both women were undeniably successful and should have been celebrated equally. And while we’re on the subject of success – when earning your own money, try and be responsible. As in, avoiding spending $40,000 on shoes.



10. The most important relationship you will ever embark on, is with yourself.


Once you’ve perfected that partnership, you’ll be open to finding the right person. Michael Patrick King, writer of the script and series, quotes “It wasn’t about . . . choosing a man or choosing a bag or choosing a life.  It was about, choosing yourself.”


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