Is anal no longer taboo?
I remember watching a really old Misfits episode (when it first came out) when I was probably 16, and one of the characters was shagging a woman who only liked anal. I thought it was the most bizarre thing, because why on earth would you let anything go up there the wrong way, right? It’s an exit passage.. Surely not an entrance? Anal sex was something that even I frowned upon until my later teenage years. When telling my mother about the ‘anal Wednesday’ post I was writing last night, she seemed horrified at first, but then shrugged it off and continued ironing. What has changed everyone’s opinions on this subject? Perhaps it was the dawn of programmes such as (my favourite) Sex and the City? Samantha is often more than enthusiastic to partake in a little bumming and I would be willing to bet at least twenty pence (not made of money, you know) that most of you have either experimented with butt stuff, thought about butt stuff or accidentally slipped it in the wrong hole. Regardless of whether you have or haven’t, read on to uncover tricks and tips to change both you and your bottom’s lives.
Doesn’t it seem high time we all stop being so embarrassed or squeamish about the topic of taking it up the Gary Glitter, or simply pretending it doesn’t exist? It’s no secret that I enjoy a little hoop lovin’ every now and then- I’m sure if you tried it, you would too! Anal remains one of the most misunderstood ‘hobbies’ to date. One of my best friends’ boyfriends used to cum within seconds of her slipping him a digit, and I’ve heard that’s not an uncommon thing- the male ‘g-spot’ is reportedly situated in the prostate. I also happen to know many a woman who takes it up the dirt track, whether the river be running red or not. Unlike vaginal sex, however, it is not a natural process. Successful anal takes a considerable amount of force.
Anal has been perceived as a taboo for such a long time because, as mentioned, it technically is an exit route. It’s seen as ‘gay sex’ and we all know how absurdly ridiculous some of society is about homosexuals. In this day and age, however, where men and women are having more sex than ever and a ‘vajazzle’ is actually a thing- nothing shocks our generation any more. Obviously, if I were to discuss anal sex with my gran, and possible even my mother, I’m pretty certain I’d send her into some sort of fit, because for that generation, anal is just gross and something never to be mentioned. This, however, must just be what people say. I’m almost certain that while in public, the older generation may have scorned at a little bum fun, behind closed doors they were knee deep in KY Jelly- a little disturbing to imagine but you get what I mean. Over the last twenty years, the addition of anal sex into relationships in the United States has increased from 25% to 40%- perhaps my fellow butt lovers and I are onto something. Still, many societies have a stigma against this kind of intercourse for religious or personal reasons.
I’ve had some bad anal in my time, believe you me. There’s nothing more disappointing than rubbish sex- particularly when it’s in your ass. That’s a bummer. Literally. Anal is absolutely an art form, something that you have to perfect and something that you should never rush into. Anal only works when you’re doing it right- one wrong move and you could really be in the shit- again, literally. You’ve been warned.
To achieve perfect, pain-free bumming, it is essential that you are lube-happy. Generally speaking, nipping down the back passage is not immediately what springs to mind when thinking of mutually pleasurable activities to partake in with a partner. Thinking about it, you would never class anal sex as a passionate and intimate act- would you? Men just want it because they’ve seen it in a porno/heard it’s a little tighter, right? Or because of the bragging rights it’ll give them, 3 pints in on a Friday night. So is anal sex a deal breaker? You wouldn’t break up with a partner because he/she refused to invite you in through the back door, would you? Apparently, anal is the new oral- so would you consider terminating your relationship because she/he wouldn’t suck your dick or lick you out? I’m unconvinced. Anal is about what you make it. Taking your time and making sure you are constantly on mutual levels of pleasure is the way to achieve that passionate vibe. Technically, anal sex should be more passionate then vaginal, considering it’s such an intimate and personal area and not somewhere that you let people venture often.
Like losing your virginity, the first time is always going to be a little uncomfortable. It feels a little like you have cramp of the butt hole, or that you’re just pooping the wrong way. However- over time this will grow into an intense and pleasurable feeling. (And I really mean over time- it’s rare that you’ll develop a love for ass play overnight).
The most important thing to remember is so be completely relaxed. Reportedly a little butt-plug foreplay helps, but I couldn’t actually tell you from personal experience. Once you are fully relaxed (light a candle, or something), and have let go of all thoughts, fears and ‘what if I poo on them’ worries, then you’re on your way. Please, for crying out loud, remember to use protection. Most STDs are transferrable through the anus (chlamydia, gonorrhoea, infectious hepatitis and HIV) and some even more so, because the lining of the anus is much more thin and can be broken more easily if too much dry friction occurs (again, please refer to the importance of lube use). Another bonus of wrapping up before hand is that if worse comes to worse and you do let out a little present- it’s easily disposed of. When entering the world of anal for the first time, your partner will probably want to bend you over and slip it in that way, but, if he’s requesting entrance to your exit then you should be in control. Sit him down and position yourself comfortably in reverse cowgirl so you’re completely in charge.
I had anal sex for the first time when I was 18 (prior to that I had experienced a few accidentally on purpose ‘slips’, but it’s hard to count them when my only reaction was to scream at them to remove said item from my bottom, immediately). This time was with a boy I really really liked and after a whole lot of tequila. I think I probably only let him do it in a vain attempt to make him like me back- shock horror, it didn’t work and he’s still a douche- please, please do learn from my mistakes. It did not feel good. Perhaps because he was pretty awful in bed in general, and had no sense of rhythm, but also because he aimlessly thrust into me with no prior warning, lubrication or preparation. Long story short, it did not end how you’d want it to end- neither the anal sex or the relationship. Fear not though friends, almost every bout of anal I have endured since then has been performed correctly and to my liking, and was nothing less than pleasurable. Once, of course, you’ve gotten over the pooing backwards feeling.
The butt is an erogenous zone for both men and women and when he’s in your bum, he’s a necessary distance from the vagina meaning you can masturbate in peace. Leave him to the butt- a little self love and rubbing of the magic button will completely relax you and take your mind off the fact that someone is currently trying to squeeze themselves into your ring.
Essentially- anal is no longer a taboo. It has become something that the majority of us are now comfortable talking about, even before a glass of wine. So, before society changes its mind and reverts back to hoop hating hell- embrace that pretty little rose bud. Entry is not something to be forced, however, and if anal is not your cup of tea then don’t fret- it’s definitely not compulsory! I still stand by the fact that good old fashioned cock-in-fanny sex is better- perhaps anal is just the special occasion sex… “Merry Christmas, fuck me in my ass!” I think that could catch on…