Are YOU Cliterate?

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In 1969, we put a man on the moon. In 1982, we invented the internet. In 1998, we discovered the full anatomy of the clitoris. And yet, here we are, in the twenty first century, only dreaming of pleasure while our one-night mate furiously rubs our pubic bone.You’ve got to be clitting me! Honey, just no. Whilst we might not typically brag about it – women actually get an ‘erection’. When sexually aroused, the pea in your pod stiffens and grows larger, a similar action to that of a penis. Unlike the multi-purpose dick, the love button is designed solely for sexual stimulation. Not dissimilar to a pork sword, a clitoris can completely differ in size, depending on the person however, this does not directly correlate with the level of pleasure that the mini-yet-almighty button can supply. Actually, it has been claimed that the clit extends up to six inches inside the female body – meaning it’s basically bigger than the average wang. What’s more, there’s a ton of research suggesting the penis and clitoris start out as the same thing before different hormones cause each to develop in their own gender-specific ways. 



Back in the 1970’s, women obsessed over their clit. The love button became an empowerment symbol for many of the second-wave feminist movement, who were regularly heard singing the chorus “We don’t need men, we have our clitorises”. I’m right there singin’ with ya, ladies!



According to the Museum of Sex, the outer (visual) part of your clit contains around 8,000 sensory nerve endings. Making it not only the most sensitive part of a woman’s body, but also a shit load more sensitive than the male member, which only contains half as many nerves. I know I rattle on about female ejaculation and the importance of discovering your G-Spot, but medical reports show that 75% of all women are unable to orgasm during intercourse without some form of clitoral stimulation. Understandable, really.



Pleasure-seeking is a natural part of the human make up. With a companion or alone, virgin or not so; women everywhere are seeking the big O. Back in 2012, it was calculated* that on average, approximately 285,193 people of the five billion sexually active people at that time were having an orgasm. Every second. And that was four years ago – imagine in comparison, how many people right this second are saying yoo-hoo to their woo-hoo.



Some might even go as far as invasive surgery on their hunt for pleasure. Stand back, designer vagina. There’s a new ‘down there’ surgical procedure in town. It’s said that ladies are now undergoing the knife to alter their clitorises. This particular procedure is called “clitoral unhooding”, and is thought to heighten sensitivity. On the other hand, improving sexuality through surgery will always carry a risk of scarring and infections; inevitably meaning no sex life at all. Similarly with clitoral piercings. I’ve always admired the ‘gem on your gem’ idea, and I think they actually look quite sweet. From friend’s reports, the tiny piercing totally improves all aspects of sex, but there are more than a few horror stories floating around as told by women who’ve lost not some but ALL feeling in their bean. *Shudder*



When considering any surgical procedure (not just those with the potential to ruin your sex life), think long and hard before signing yourself up. Make sure you’ve exercised every possible option in clitoral stimulation before you rule yourself ‘de-sensitised’. There’s more often than not an option you haven’t explored, which could open your eyes to simultaneous stimulation and pleasure. So do it. Familiarise yourself with Clive the clit. There’s no shame in having a little fumble in your knickers during the ad break of The Real Housewives. Use alternative body parts, household objects and a variety of toys. Practise with a variety of different pressures, techniques and, like me, partners. Ensuring you’re completely relaxed will also give you a leg up (or leg over), and if practising with your mate, don’t be afraid to tell them what works and what doesn’t. If anything, they’ll thank you for your guidance.  



Try it for yourself – the orgasm has limitless benefits, including pain and stress relief, weight loss and prevention of incontinence. Yay!

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