Men tend to go on dating sites to meet other women that they can date and shag. It’s a tool for flirting. It’s not just to see naked women- He would go on porn site if he just wanted to see other women’s vaginas. He goes on dating sites to find women that he can eventually slip into bed with. I personally have a re-activated Tinder profile because I still hold a glimmer of hope that my dream man is out there, within 40km of me and between the ages of 22 and 40. And I enjoy the compliments and cheesy chat up lines- “Are you Jewish?.. Because you Israeli hot” is a personal fave- he definitely got the digits.
I completely understand that it is natural for men to have the urge to cheat- this doesn’t mean that infidelity is natural. Imagine this scenario- You meet him or her online. You fall in love online. You then take your profiles down together to live your happy offline life. The End. Or is it?
When a person makes a relationship milestone, they are logically going to wonder whether or not this is the last sexual partner they’ll have. They are going to wonder if others would still deem them shaggable if the relationship doesn’t work out.
A girl I’ve known for a very long time discovered her boyfriend on Tinder after their relationship hit a rocky patch. It was by no means over, but definitely sealed the deal in the final stages of their romance. If you are interested in what else is out there, and are losing interest in your current partner- just bite the fucking bullet and break up with them. It’s unfair and you come off as a much worse person for stringing them along. It’s hard to put blanket rules down as it obviously is different for every couple and relationship, but one thing I know for sure- if I caught my boyfriend/fiancé/husband, online or otherwise, flirting with someone else, I would not stand for it. I have enough respect for myself to know I deserve better and leave. And that is exactly what my friend did.
If you are doing something behind your significant other’s back, and the thought of them uncovering the truth panics you- then you’ve given some sort of false impression of yourself and you are doing something wrong. Perhaps you’re innocent and naive, and are creating a profile on Match or Tinder just to see what’s out there- and hey, if your partner is ok with that, then you go right ahead and swipe. If you are sneaking around behind their back and are popping off for a ‘poo’ every half hour to check your likes- take a deep breath, sit back and re-evaluate your relationship happiness.
Online flirting is seemingly worse than a drunken snog with a local barmaid on a night out. Online flirting and sexting is cold, sober and intentional. You have your full wits about you and you are actively seeking someone to flirt with- even if your intentions do not include meeting said person.
Tinder is an app you sign yourself up to in order to find a nice associate to date or sleep with- so you can imagine my surprise when last night a Raven sent me a screenshot of a profile belonging to none other than that awful bodybuilder I dated for a while (you remember, the one that finished with me and slipped and fell right into my ex-friend’s vagina…). While I absolutely don’t wish unfaithfulness or unhappiness on anyone- Karma is a bitch- and honey, if you’re reading this and you have one iota of self respect, you’ll turn around and walk away. Remember what they say- once a cheat…
I know both men and women who’ve created secret profiles or reactivated their previous profiles temporarily after a bump in the road in their relationships. While this is relatively normal, it’s incredibly hurtful. As big as the digital dating landscape is, there are too many friends and family members who will notice the profile, even if it’s only up for a few days or so. Tinder shows your mutual friends. It shows a big ass picture of you, and as long as you’re within 160km (or their distance preference), they WILL bust you. It WILL blow up, and that might not be recoverable- so is it worth the risk? Are you on Tinder for a quick gander, or for a flirt? Are you nosy or unhappy?
At the end of the day, cheating is cheating. Whether you’re physically cheating or emotionally cheating, and whether it’s porking your secretary or hiding behind a profile that advertises you as a 6ft Adonis- you’re being unfaithful.
Just remember next time you need an ego-boost quick fix- is it worth losing someone important over?